atehimrightup | (no subject)

George's dark eyebrows pull together and a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.

"I... Am not sure I follow, love," he says. "You want me to treat you like a horse?"

Well, that makes Lee feel stupid. His eyes sting and he swallows hard, cheeks flushing even further as he looks away and tries to take a step back.

"No, that's not--" He shakes his head a little and lets out a quiet huff. "Never mind, it's dumb. I don't know what I'm saying."

"No, no," says George, his arm tightening around Lee's waist when he tries to pull away. He shifts his other hand, fingers under Lee's chin to nudge his face up.

"Tell me again. I want to understand."

Lee huffs as George keeps him from fleeing, gritting his teeth and stamping one foot, and then he goes still and looks at the horse again, feeling humiliated.

"No," Lee says when George touches his chin, mostly just to be obstinate because he's so embarrassed. Then he huffs and lets George tilt his chin up, but looks somewhere just to the left of his eyes. "Fine."

He takes a breath and lets his hands hang at his sides. He thought that conveyed it pretty well. Be nice to me, like you were being nice to the horse. He isn't sure how much clearer he can make it. "I think I want you to act with me like you act with the horse. Like, the energy of it. The way you are."

His eyes sting and he makes a distressed sound. "I don't want to be treated like a horse. I want you to treat me like you treat the horse. There's a difference but I don't know how to explain it and I'm fucking embarrassed, so we can just forget it."

"No, no, I think I understand," says George, his hand smoothing down Lee's arm, squeezing his bicep lightly. "You want to be reminded of your place in the world." He leans in, his mouth closer to Lee's ear. "Which, to be clear, is you're mine. Entirely."

George squeezes his arm and Lee's gaze snaps to his eyes as he speaks, nodding almost eagerly because he thinks that George is starting to get it. He wants to be reminded, wants to be cared for with tender authority while being respected at the same time.

And then George's lips just barely graze his ear and Lee does whimper then, reaching out to grab George's hips as he nods. "Yes, I am. Entirely. And I don't want it to be mean. I don't want to have to beg. I just-- I want what you were just doing. But for me."

The horse huffs, ears flicking, and Lee turns even more red. "Shut up, Bramble. He's mine."

"I wouldn't make you beg," says George, gently, still stroking Lee's arm, a smile ticking up the corner of his mouth. He turns his head, brushing his lips against Lee's skin. "Let me finish up here, and we can talk about it more? I want to make sure I'm giving you exactly what you want."

He pulls away. "Can you grab the tack for me? I'll handle the saddle."

"Okay. Yeah, of course. I don't want to rush you," Lee says sincerely, biting his bottom lip. "I feel bad. I came here to watch you doing something you love and I've made it about me."

Still, he's glad to be given something to do, even if he has no idea what the fuck a tack is. He glances around the stall and it seems obvious enough, so he picks up the strappy leather thing that went over the horse's head. The leather is soft and warm and smells kind of good, like dust and hay and contentment, and he holds it against his chest as he looks at George imploringly, eager for further instruction.

"Don't feel bad. You know I like it when you actually ask for what you want." George bends, lifting the saddle off the floor. "Come on. The racks are this way." He walks out of the stall and down the length of the stable to the saddle room. "In your head is this before or after sex?" He says, matter-of-factly, as he starts putting things away. "During?"

"It's easier when I know how the fuck to say it," Lee replies, watching very closely as George lifts the saddle. The muscles in his arms and neck shift and Lee swallows hard, following after him eagerly with bits of leather hanging from his arms. "I wasn't expecting to be confronted with this new thing today."

George is so casual about it, is the thing. It's not all that surprising. He's a lot more experienced than Lee with this type of thing, and presumably has had a lot more time to think about what sex means to him. For Lee it was always just this primal thing, like scratching an itch. He never had the time for it to be anything else. He's glad for George's calm and level-headed approach to it sometimes, even if it does make Lee flustered. He knows that he's in good hands. Which, well-- that's the thing, isn't it?

"Um." He ponders the question and holds out the tack for George, brows furrowed as he thinks. "The whole time, I think? Mostly before. Maybe not so much during the actual sex." He swallows and glances around, though they're alone in the room. "I'm not entirely sure. I sort of just had this epiphany like five minutes ago."

George starts to take the tack from Lee, carefully putting it away. "And that's why we're talking about it. I want to make sure that I'm entirely clear on what you want." With everything put away, he steps in again, hand cradling the side of Lee's neck, pulling him in to kiss him. "What about the pain? For correction purposes?"

"This is already kind of doing it for me. To be clear," Lee tells him, because George is carrying over that same calm energy from the stall while Lee is just all over the place. He doesn't let Lee's weird energy rattle him, just steps in close and touches him, and Lee goes still at the hand on his neck. He's grateful to be kissed. It seems like he's able to breathe easier afterward.

"Um. That's fine. You know that I'm okay with a little pain," Lee assures him, brow furrowed slightly as he thinks about it. He likes that he added that it's for correction purposes. It's not a punishment, but a reminder. It's an instruction on how to do better, and Lee thinks he would be very okay with that. "I like the correction part. Like, it's not to hurt me, right? It's to keep me focused. Like what you said about the horse. You'd never hurt him. So that's-- yeah." His eyes glaze over a little bit. "How would you do it?"

He smiles at that. It might be deliberate, how he's touching Lee, how he's pitched his voice. He's calibrating. He's got many talents, but this -- being the answer to a lover's fantasy -- is one of his greatest. It's the one that still comes easiest.

"Hmm," he says, thumb stroking against Lee's pulse. "With a horse, it'd be the bit or the crop. The crop would be easy enough to emulate, obviously. And the bit -- a gag of some sort, maybe. You wouldn't need a voice."

He reaches out with his free hand, stirs the leather straps hanging on the rack.

This might kill him. He really thought he would just come watch his beloved boyfriend gallop around on a horse for a bit and then they'd go home. Now he's all flustered and feels like he's just discovered this brand new piece of himself and he has no idea what to do with it.

But George does.

His voice is low and calm, thumb gliding soothingly over his pulse, and Lee rests his hands loosely on George's hips and just stares at him with this utterly besotted look in his eyes. George's very pretty hand glides over leather straps and Lee swallows hard.

"I don't want to be a horse. I feel like I should say that again," he gets out, chuckling softly. "I am very much a boy. But-- yeah. Watching you like that, it-- I dunno. It was like something clicked. Like oh, that's what I've never been able to articulate. That's what I want. But you're doing it to an animal, so I got embarrassed. Sorry I was a brat."

He's kind of rambling, which he doesn't usually do. It happens when he gets nervous sometimes. "I'm just confused."

"I'm not talking about a bridle, don't worry," says George, his voice warm. "And you've been a brat before -- it's not that much of a surprise. A riding crop, though." He makes a soft, thoughtful noise. "I don't have one. We'd have to buy one."

"Takes one to know one," Lee teases gently, tucking his thumbs into the waistband of George's tight pants while staring at the side of his face, quirking a brow. "You seem fixated on the hitting me with a riding crop part."

"I'm not adverse to the idea," he admits, smirking a little before he bends his head to take a kiss, nudging Lee back against the wooden wall. "But if it doesn't work, I'm not married to the idea. There'll be other opportunities, I'm sure."

George moves him gently but surely, pressing him against the wall next to dangling leather straps. He kisses Lee and he hums happily, reaching up to put one hand on George's cheek as he returns it.

"How do you feel about it? I mean, is that something you'd want to do?" He feels nervous and he knows it's probably dumb, but he can't seem to help it. "This is like, your thing. You and the horses. I am not trying to encroach on it or anything. I wasn't expecting to feel the things I felt. You were just-- god, you make me feel everything."

"I like the idea of it," he says, smiling at Lee, hips pressed forward to keep him against the wall. "Of being with you like that. I don't think it's encroaching on anything. Like you said, you don't want to be a horse, and you don't want me to think of you as a horse. You want me to take you in hand." He tilts his head. "I can do that."

"Yeah, I just--" George's hips press into his and it makes it a little hard to think. And then George sums it up so simply, you want me to take you in hand, and he whimpers a little and nods. "Sometimes I feel so wild, and everything you said in there about trust and confidence, about making sure he knew his place. I just-- I want that. For me."

He swallows hard and tips his head back, looking at George through half-lidded eyes with his cheeks still flushed, messy hair spilling in his face. "Sometimes I really do feel like a spooked animal and I want you to make me calm like that."

"I'm pretty sure I can give you that," he says, brushing Lee's hair back from his face. "I think I know exactly what you want." He lifts one hand, takes hold of Lee's jaw and holds him to a firm, hungry kiss. "You want to be reminded of my expectations of you. Of how to be good."

Lee stares at George with wide, bright eyes, nodding a little and blinking slowly as George sweeps his hair back. And then he’s kissed, hard and firm and good, and Lee’s knees go a little weak.

“Yes. Mostly I want to be good,” Lee says, because it’s not about pain or being corrected or bossed around. He just wants to do a good job, and his face is pink and his voice is a little broken when he speaks next. “I want to know you’re proud of me. And that I’m safe.”

He’s never had either of those things. Not until now.

"For the complete avoidance of doubt," says George, his lips still close enough to smudge against Lee's mouth as he speaks. "You are good, and I am proud of you, and you are always safe with me." He brushes another kiss against Lee's mouth. "I don't mind showing you, though."

He squeezes Lee's jaw before he lets him go. "Go wait for me. I'll be there in a minute. I need to make sure Bramble's settled before I leave."

Lee tries very hard to keep it together, but George just said the perfect thing. He said a whole series of perfect things and Lee fully whimpers, eyes rolling back into his head a little. If there were any doubts about his praise kink before (there weren’t) then they’d be all gone now. Is there such a thing as a safety and security kink? Because he has that for sure.

“Oh god,” he says just before George kisses him, feeling a little lightheaded.

And then George squeezes his jaw and okay, yeah. He gets why Alex likes that so much. He stares at George, eyes wide and lips parted, and then shakes himself and clears his throat, two splotches of color high on his cheeks.

“Yes. Okay. Take your time,” Lee says, trying to sound calm and put together but probably missing the mark entirely. “I’ll be by the truck.”

He turns to leave the room, glancing over his shoulder as he does, and very nearly walks into the doorframe. A distressed and embarrassed whine escapes him and he flees the barn entirely, jogging toward the truck.

George is absolutely, accuately aware of the effect that all of this is having on Lee, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying it. He does take his time, settling the blanket over Bramble, making sure that he's got everything he needs to be comfortable through the night. He grabs his coat, the flowers that Lee bought him, and his bag and walks out to where Lee is waiting.

"I do think we ought to swing by that store we've been to before," he says. "See if anything catches our eye."