atehimrightup | (no subject)

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george

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For perhaps the first time in his life, Lee is looking forward to Christmas.

It was never really anything he paid much attention to before. If anything, all the garish decorations and twinkling lights annoyed him. Or maybe he told himself that's what it was, because seeing all the happy families and loving couples pressed in on some bruised part of his heart that ached with the desire to know what it felt like to be loved like that.

And now, by some miracle, he is.

This is the second Christmas that he's known George, but the first one doesn't really count. That was back when they were still pretending that their whole arrangement was casual, and fuckbuddies didn't really spend the holidays together. This year is different. Lee finds himself delighted to explain all the strange rituals of a modern Christmas to George, who seems fascinated and perturbed in equal measure.

They decorated a tree that Lee had determinedly gone out and chopped down, wanting to have the whole experience. The thing is kind of a mess of tinsel and twinkling lights, limbs weighed down with baubles he found at the thrift store. but it's also the best looking Christmas tree he's ever seen. Because it's theirs.

Now it's Christmas Eve and Lee has made a hearty roast for dinner, and a large batch of heavily spiked eggnog. They're curled up together on the sofa with an old Christmas movie playing on TV. George is a little tipsy, just enough for him to be loose-limbed and pink-cheeked, and Lee smiles as he presses a kiss to the crown of his head.

"So, are you ready for Santa to come down your chimney?" Lee teases, smiling at his own joke and pressing another kiss to George's hairline, one hand coming up to gently cradle his chin. “Don’t fall asleep on me just yet, sweetheart.”

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George laughs at that, a warm huff of sound, shaking his head. He arches one dark eyebrow.

"You're right. I'm extremely good at giving head."

"Lucky me," he says with a grin, thumbing at George's brow, then the curve of his bottom lip. He knows that skill came with practice, but he seems to be the only one reaping the benefits now. That reminds him of something he's been wanting to talk about, and the eggnog has him feeling a little brave.

"Hey, can I ask you what's probably a dumb question?" Lee's cheeks flush a little and he lets out a nervous huff of laughter. It's not quite as hard for him to talk about his feelings and the things that he wants as it used to be, but it still takes effort. But George asked him to try. So he's trying. "Just to make sure that we're on same page about something."

He's used to this Lee, and he appreciates how difficult it is for Lee, so he gives him the respect of giving him his full attention, dark eyes fixed on his face. He smiles, reassuring.

"You can ask me anything. You know that."

Being the center of George's focus always makes Lee understand why deer freeze in front of headlights. It's disarming to suddenly be caught up in something so bright.

Lee blinks and then nods, sweeping the backs of his fingers gently across George's cheek before resting them under his chin. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts and swallows hard.

"We haven't actually talked about it, but, uh," Lee begins, huffing out a breath and smiling at how ridiculous he's being. "Neither of us are fucking other people anymore, right?"

There's Alex, of course. But she's something different, something other than what he's asking about now. Lee hasn't just gone out and hooked up with anyone in a long time, and he's fairly certain that George hasn't either.

It's been so long that, for a moment, the question doesn't really make sense. He has to think about it for a moment.

"I haven't fucked anyone except you or Alex in...I honestly have no idea how long," he says. He smiles, tracing the point of Lee's chin with the pad of his thumb. "When I said there's nobody but you, I meant it."

Lee grins at that, eyes crinkling at the corners as he curls his hand loosely around George's wrist. He remembers what they were both like when they first met, and if you had told that Lee that this is where he'd find himself, he would have laughed.

"I just wanted to make it official, I guess," he admits with a warm chuckle, expression softening as he stares down at George's face. "I can't believe I got the George Villiers to try monogamy." His smile goes playful and he drops his hand to tickle at George's side, laughing and leaning over him. "I feel like I tamed a wild stallion."

Squirming at the tickling touch to his ribs, George grabs for Lee's wrist, tugging him in closer.

"Like you know anything about taming horses," snorts George, but he does quite like the comparison. "Apparently, this is all I wanted, when finally given my head, as it were."

Lee finds himself stunned by the idea that he could be enough for someone like George, who is so vibrant and beautiful and wild. He could have anyone, but it's Lee he wants. It's Lee who is enough for him, and he's stunned by it over and over again.

"You're everything I need," he says with a smile, sliding his hand up under George's sweater to rest against his stomach, sweeping his thumb back and forth through the soft hair above his navel. "I know we have fun with Alex. Do you-- should it only be the three of us together?"

Lee cares for Alex very, very much but he knows there are no romantic feelings there, not on either side. He knows that George knows that, too. But he'd do whatever made George most comfortable. He'd do anything George asked of him, probably.

He smiles at the touch of Lee's fingers against his bare skin. Lee asks the question seriously, and George gives it the serious though tthat it deserves. Eventually, he shakes his head.

"It doesn't bother me -- you with her. I know exactly what it is, what it is to both of you." He strokes the side of Lee's face gently, dark eyes wondering. "Do you want me to say 'no'? To keep you to myself? I think she gives you something you need. And I'm happy enough with that."

Lee smiles warmly at the question, shaking his head a little. He wonders if he would be so gracious if George found a woman that he wanted to spend time with. Somehow, he doubts it.

“You know I like it when you get all possessive,” Lee teases, tickling gently at his belly again. “But okay. You could sleep with her too, you know.”

Almost immediately he realizes that it sounds like he’s offering Alex up and he wrinkles his nose and shakes his head, laughing at himself. “No, I just mean— if the situation ever presents itself. I’d be fine with it. I trust you both.”

He smiles boyishly, cheeks flushed as he leans down to give George a soft kiss. “So just us. And the occasional friendly romp with Alex. I like the sound of that.”

"I do know that," says George, grinning. But he also feels like Alex doesn't count. He knows how much Lee loves her. He also knows that he doesn't have a romantic flicker for her. It's not something he's concerned about. Lee kisses him and he strokes his fingers along Lee's jaw, tracing the curve of his ear with one thumb. "Sounds like a plan, love."

“Love,” Lee echoes with a dopey smile. The lights are low, with snow falling gently outside the window, twinkling tree lights reflected in the shine of George’s eyes as he stares up at Lee. It sometimes feels like a dream, like this is someone else’s life. He constantly has to remind himself that it’s his.

“I think my heart about stopped the first time you called me that,” he admits with a warm smile, leaning in to steal another soft kiss. “You’ve had me wrapped around your finger for longer than you know.”

"I was saying it to you for weeks before you understood it," he says, cradling the side of Lee's face in his palm as he kisses him, brushing curls back from his forehead when he pulls back a little. "Took me a little while to figure it out but, once I had, I knew." He smudges the pad of his thumb along Lee's bottom lip. "I'm a done deal."

"Very devious of you," Lee murmurs, grinning as George traces his lip. Lee presses a kiss to his thumb and then pulls the digit into his mouth, sucking on it briefly before dropping it and ducking his head to give George a deep, thorough kiss. He doesn't pull away until he has to breathe, and then presses their foreheads together as he puts a hand on George's face.

"You're it for me, baby. I mate for life, whatever I am," he teases, grinning and then giving him another kiss. 'I just wanna make you happy forever."

"I learned from the best."

What Lee says next sends a burst of warmth through his chest. He's never before thought about a life with someone. The plan had been for him to hold onto James for as long as he could; longer than Somerset had managed to, anyway.

"I can live with that, I think," he says.

“Oh, can you? How gracious,” Lee teases, tickling George again and feeling a rush of joy when he gets that beautiful, gummy smile in return. George looks so soft in his oversized sweater, with his clean hair flopping onto his forehead. His guard is down, expression soft and open, and Lee finds himself a bit dumbstruck as he stares.

Being entrusted with this version of George may be the best gift he’s ever been given.

“Most people do presents on Christmas morning. Some people do them the night before,” Lee says after a moment, swallowing nervously as he thinks about the small box hidden in his sock drawer. “What are your thoughts?”

Privately, he loves it when Lee looks at him like that, especially when he's relaxed and calm and making no attempt at artifice. It feels like a gift. It's something he's never had before. He sees the signs of nervousness in Lee's face when he asks his question.

"I'm not sure that I have a preference," he admits. He's got Lee a handful of small things but the thing that he's most excited about, he hasn't wrapped, because he didn't want Lee to notice that it was gone. "Then again. I do love gifts."

"Do you?" Lee asks dryly, smirking and pressing a kiss to George's forehead. He got George a few things, eager as always to spoil George however he can. He can't give George gemstones or fancy clothes, but he tries to find things that show how much George is appreciated, how much he's seen and loved.

"We can do one tonight and the rest in the morning," Lee decides, because he doesn't want to wait. He shifts out from under George and sits up, shifting to cross his legs under himself. He knows George got him something because they briefly mentioned exchanging gifts when discussing Christmas plans, but Lee has no idea what it is. "Do you want to go first? Mine's in the bedroom."

"I do," says George, smugly, and then Lee asks if he wants to go first. He nods, shifting so that his position is mirroring Lee's, his legs crossed in front of him. "I love you," he says. "More than anything or anyone in the world. More than I've ever loved anything. I...wanted to give you something to remind you of that." He shifts, tugging the gold ring, set with a lapis lazuli, off his index finger. He holds it out in the palm of his hand. "I want you to have this. To wear it."

Lee really had no idea what to expect, but it certainly wasn't this. The declaration of his love feels like enough of a gift in itself, but then George is pulling the ever present ring off of his pinky finger and holding it out to Lee and he blinks, stunned into rigid silence as he stares down at it. The ring goes blurry due to the sudden tears welling up in his eyes, and he has to swallow past the lump in his throat before he's able to speak.

"I-- really? Of course I'd wear it, but you have so little from home," Lee reminds him in a thick voice, tearing his gaze away from the ring to look up at George, reaching out to put a hand on his knee. "You really mean it?" He sniffs and swallows hard, trying his best not to cry. "Fuck, I love you."

He hadn't been expecting Lee to cry but, somehow, he isn't surprised when he does. He reaches out to brush a tear away from Lee's cheek with the pad of his thumb.

"I don't need anything from home," he says, lifting one shoulder in a shrug. "You're my home, love."

"I swear I never used to be such a crybaby. You broke me," he says with a wet chuckle, rolling his eyes at himself as George wipes a tear from his face. He's sure that it has something to do with feeling safe around George. It had taken some time for Lee to even recognize that safety for what it was. It had been an entirely unfamiliar feeling.

Lee lets out a shaky breath and looks down at the ring again, swallowing as he reaches out to slip the tip of his middle finger into the band as it rests on George's palm. He presses down and flips the ring onto his finger and lifts his hand, reaching out to slide the ring into place. It looks entirely out of place on his tattooed hand, nails flecked with chipped black. But at the same time, somehow, it looks like it belongs.

"You just-- wanted me to wear your ring?" Lee asks after a long moment of admiring it, looking up at George's face again, eyes soft and glistening wet.

George smiles as he watches Lee settle the ring on his finger. His hands are bigger than Lee's, so it makes sense that they would have to wear it differently.

"I do," he says, no doubt of it in his mind. "And I think it suits you very well."

It’s not just a ring. It’s a declaration, perhaps a promise, and Lee stares down at it again before surging forward to throw his arms around George’s neck in a tight hug.

“I can’t believe you still love me,” he admits, because he was so sure that George finding out the truth would have been the end of everything. It’s not as if Lee could have blamed him if it was.

But it wasn’t. He’s still here.

“I’ll take care of it,” Lee promises, turning his head to press a kiss to George’s cheek. “I’ll keep it safe.”

Lee throws himself into George's arms, and george wraps both arms around his waist, holding him close.

"I know you will," he says, smiling. "And, when you look it, it will remind you that you are a choice I made, my love. i chose every part of this."